When I was 17, I thought I knew what I wanted to major in. I was going to be a teacher, just like my mom.
At the time, choosing education seemed like the obvious (or sometimes maybe even the only) choice. A lot of the adults in my life were teachers or worked in the school system, so those were the careers I knew best. When I told my mom I wanted to become a teacher, though, she didn’t immediately celebrate my decision.
Instead, she started asking questions.
Was teaching actually my passion? Did I really want to be a teacher, or did I just think I should be one because it was what I had always been around? Had I considered other careers?
At 17, I’ll admit, I was annoyed. Looking back, I realize she wanted to make sure I was choosing a career because it was right for me, not because it was the only option I knew.
As a parent, you don’t get to choose your student’s major for them. But you do get to help them discover their options.
Ask questions before giving advice
If your student tells you they have chosen a major, start by asking why.
What interests you about this field? What do you think you would enjoy about the career? What do you know about the day-to-day work? Can you see yourself doing this long-term?
Sometimes, students have a clear reason for their choice. Other times, they may have chosen a major because it’s what their friends are doing, it’s what their family does, or it’s simply the first career they’ve considered.
That doesn’t mean their choice is wrong. It just means there may be more to explore.
My mom wasn’t telling me that I couldn’t become a teacher. She encouraged me to make sure I actually wanted to. She even reminded me that I could get a teaching certificate later if I still wanted to teach after exploring other options.
Help them look beyond what they know
One of the biggest things my mom helped me realize was how limited my view of careers actually was.
I had mostly been around teachers, so becoming a teacher felt familiar. I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
Parents can help their students expand their perspective. Talk to friends, family members, coworkers, and people in your community who work in different fields. Encourage your student to ask what they do, what they like about their career, and what they wish they had known when they were choosing a major.
You might be surprised by how many career paths your student has never considered simply because they haven’t been exposed to them.
Talk about their strengths
You don’t have to know which major is right for your student to help them choose one.
Think about the situations where you’ve watched them thrive. What subjects come naturally to them? What kinds of problems do they enjoy solving? What activities make them lose track of time? What have they accomplished that you’re proud of?
Tell them what you see.
My mom didn’t necessarily know what I should major in. She knew I could be successful in whatever I pursued. She wanted me to find something that gave me room to explore and discover what I actually enjoyed.
Sometimes, students need someone else to remind them of strengths they haven’t recognized in themselves yet.
Explore majors together
Once you’ve started talking about their interests and strengths, sit down together and explore what’s available.
When I was choosing a major, my mom and I literally scrolled through Tarleton State’s list of majors together. We talked about what sounded interesting and what could give me different options after graduation.
We eventually chose general business just because we didn’t see general studies listed as an option at the time. It seemed broad enough that I could pursue different careers after graduation, while still giving me the option to get a teaching certificate later if I decided that’s what I wanted (spoiler alert… it wasn’t).
I didn’t know at the time how important that flexibility would become.
Encourage exploration, not pressure
Your student’s first major doesn’t have to determine their entire future.
I ended up discovering graphic design through an internship and found a love for creativity through elective courses that allowed me to declare minors in Art and Digital Media Studies. Those opportunities helped me realize that I wanted to build a creative career, something I never would have known at 17.
If I had chosen education, I may have missed those experiences.
That’s why choosing a major doesn’t have to be about finding the one perfect answer. Sometimes it’s about choosing a path that gives your student room to learn more about themselves.
Remind them that changing their mind is okay
Students change their majors. They change their career goals. They add minors, pursue graduate degrees, earn certifications, and discover completely new interests.
The major your student chooses at 17 or 18 does not define the rest of their life.
If they start college and realize they don’t love their major, that’s not failure. It’s information. They learned something about themselves, and they can use that information to make a different choice.
College is a time to explore new ideas, meet new people, and discover opportunities that students may not even know exist yet.
Your role isn’t to choose for them
Looking back, I’m grateful my mom questioned my decision (love you, Mom!).
At the time, I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just let me become a teacher. Now I realize she wasn’t trying to tell me what to do. She was trying to make sure I knew I had choices.
That’s one of the best things a parent can give their student: not an answer, but perspective.
Ask questions. Listen to their answers. Tell them what you see in them. Introduce them to people with different careers. Explore majors together. And when you disagree with their first choice, don’t just say “no.” Explain why you’re asking them to think about something else.
Your student may not find their perfect major right away. They may change their mind. They may discover a career they never knew existed.
And that’s okay.
Sometimes, the best thing you can do is give them enough room to discover what they love for themselves.
